I started back at tafe at the beginning of February. I finished my Certificate II in Auslan last year, so now I’m on to Certificate III (for some reason there’s no Certificate I here). At the end of last year I was really pleased to be finished, and I seriously considered not going back. I really enjoyed the first year, but the second seemed such a drag, and I wasn’t sure that I wanted to continue. I honestly didn’t enjoy it much at all, although there was the odd occasion that I would find some motivation.

Deep down I knew that I would end up going back, only because I thought I’d regret it if I didn’t. So I enrolled in January, and when the first day of class came, I was dreading it so much that I started feeling ill. I don’t know exactly why I was filled with such dread. Well, that’s not exactly true. I know that some of the reason was because I knew that virtually noone from my class last year was continuing (there were two classes - morning and night, and I was in the night class), and so I wouldn’t know anyone there, but they would all know each other. I’m very shy, and I didn’t relish the idea of walking into a sea of strangers. Reason No 1: I’m a wuss.

I was also dreading it because of the lack of enjoyment I’d had last year. I was expecting this year to be more of the same, because we’d been told at the end of last year that we’d be having our 2nd year teacher one night a week, and the teacher I’d had in the first year on the other. If we’d been going to have the second year teacher both nights, I don’t think I would have gone back. Reason No 2: Last year sucked (more about that later).

So I went to class, and as it turned out, we didn’t have our second year teacher, but someone who I’d never had before. She was great, and seeing my 1st year teacher on the other night was great too, but I still couldn’t muster any enthusiasm. I felt like an outsider as everyone knew each other so well. I thought long and hard about withdrawing, wondering if I’d be able to get a full refund on my fees. I nearly rang tafe to enquire, but I decided against it because I thought I hadn’t given it a fair chance.

Three weeks on and I’m really glad I stayed; I’ve had a complete turnaround in opinion. I’m getting to know my classmates and I think that this year’s class is just so much better than last year’s. The overall skill level is much higher, and because of that I think that this might be the year I see some real improvement in my skills. I improved a lot in first year, but that was expected because before I started I knew virtually nothing other than vocabulary - nothing about grammar or syntax.

I don’t think I improved last year at all, partly because there were a couple of people in the class who worked at the tafe and who should have been in first year, but had been put in second year because the 1st year class was so big. Neither of them new any Auslan at all, so a lot of time was spent explaining things to them, and the teacher had to use very basic Auslan when teaching us, so we didn’t really get the chance to improve our read-back skills. Of course, this is entirely tafe’s fault for stuffing up the class sizes, and I felt sorry for them that they were stuck in a class in which they felt so out of their depth, but it still meant that the rest of the class was held back, so it really wasn’t a 2nd year level class at all.

As for the other reason, I am sure that it is because of the teacher. I think she’s more suited to a lecturing position, where you spit out the facts for the duration of the class, then go home. She didn’t seem to show much interest in making sure that her students understood the material, and while she would explain something if asked, she didn’t like explaining again if you still didn’t understand. Hence my lack of enjoyment of that class.

The teacher on Mondays uses more natural-looking Auslan (ie not really obviously dumbed down so we can understand it) than I’ve had from past teachers, which also makes me think I’ll improve this year. I don’t always understand everything she says, but I don’t think that matters because it means I’ll get better faster. After all, if everything is always pitched at your current level, how are you going to improve?

So I’m feeling very motivated at the moment, and am so glad that I didn’t withdraw. Another reason I didn’t withdraw is because I’ve always given up on things without giving myself the chance to become really good at them, so I’m determined not to do that this time.