Here’s something that happened this week that really pissed me off. I was going to blog about it at the time, but I was so annoyed that anything I would have written about it would have been laced with profanity. Which is how I usually talk anyway, but I’m sure that not everyone who stops by here wants to read an expletive every second word. Now I’m cooled off enough to just wonder “why?” about the whole thing. Anyway.
M’s father died a couple of months ago, and M has been renting out the house since the end of last year. The new tenants moved in, and everything was fine. A couple of weeks ago, one of the tenants rang up and said that there was some mail for M that had been delivered there, and wanted an address so they could forward it to us.
So last Tuesday we got the forwarded mail from the new tenants. I had a glance at it, and apart from a couple of things for M’s dad, there were three envelopes, each addressed to “The Relatives of the Late *M’s dad*”. I asked M if I could open one, and he said yes. So I opened one of them, and started reading. The letter started out with how sorry they were to write to us during such a difficult time, but they heard that M’s dad died and thought that we might like to give them some money for a memorial. Huh? All the letters were worded very similarly - they all knew his full name, and where the funeral had been held, and wanted us to fork over some money during our “time of grief”. What the fuck? Any spam is annoying, but really - this kind of spamming just seems a bit crass to me.
So I went from zero to pissed-right-the-hell-off in a matter of seconds. First, how did they get the details? Do they spend their time scouring the funeral notices in the papers to see who has died and where their funeral is being held? Or do they have a deal with the funeral directors where they buy the details of the deceased? I understand that selling memorials is a business like any other, but I think it’s extremely inappropriate for them to advertise by sending out letters containing specific details which they’d obviously had to look up. Funeral directors have advertisements on television - why can’t they? You don’t receive letters from funeral places saying that they’ve noticed that Joe Bloggs has just celebrated his 95th birthday, and since he’s 20 years older than today’s male life expectancy, does he want to think about arranging his funeral?
Do they have deals with hospitals as well, sending out letters to people who have miraculously survived some operation or illness, to see if they want to buy a prepaid memorial, so that in the event of complications, their relatives will have the peace of mind of knowing that they will have the tribute that they deserve?
I think that any spam which has been specifically addressed to you and contains any personal details that you haven’t given them to be a gross invasion of privacy, but surely the line should be drawn somewhere. Obviously there’s no such thing as spamming etiquette.
January 23rd, 2005 at 1:27 am | [ Quote ]
That is completely and utterly tasteless. I wonder if there are peoeple who actually do give money for a memorial? I hope not….
January 23rd, 2005 at 12:01 pm | [ Quote ]
same thing happened when lovely laura left us
January 23rd, 2005 at 3:33 pm | [ Quote ]
Love your site, totally beautiful
BTW that letter thing is pretty damn wrong.
January 23rd, 2005 at 3:52 pm | [ Quote ]
I hope not, too, JR - I can’t imagine people would be too happy to receive those sorts of letters?
It’s awful, isn’t it Cat
Thanks for stopping by, Marsie!
January 23rd, 2005 at 6:10 pm | [ Quote ]
UGH! How horrid and insensitive can people be? I have heard of people donating money to the family of the deceased, or even in the name of the deceased, but not to someone else by the family of the deceased. We did something along the lines for my brother’s death, but we volunteered the funds and asked. We weren’t asked to give them money and they would do the memorial blah blah blah. That is a serious invasion of one’s privacy and time of grief. Can you do anything about this?
January 24th, 2005 at 8:36 am | [ Quote ]
I doubt I can do anything - they’re just trying to get business. The way they’re doing it leaves a lot to be desired though!
January 24th, 2005 at 11:56 am | [ Quote ]
there certainly doesn’t seem to be.
how tacky!
January 24th, 2005 at 6:37 pm | [ Quote ]
you have got to be kidding me! That is all Ate up!
January 26th, 2005 at 12:52 am | [ Quote ]
Wow! That’s seriously messed up. I would have been cussing, too.
January 28th, 2005 at 12:41 am | [ Quote ]
I had neve rheard such a thing before reading your post. It never happens here and i am sure that if he did a lot of people would protest!! That’s something that would piss me off!